I know the craziest time of the year is here for your household...Christmas Break! Today's goodie is a newsletter brought to you by Youth Specialties that will arm you with some extra fuel for raising your teens during the Holidays.
Here is a link to The Parent Link - December Edition.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Youth Group News for December 14
If your teen is still interested in going to Winterfest, January 16-18, there are still Registration forms available on the Youth Information Board in the Hallway! IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN BEING A CHAPERONE, PLEASE SIGN UP AS WELL!!! Winterfest-Arlington brings about 7,000 teenagers associated with the Churches of Christ together for a weekend of spiritual growth spurred on by times of worship, artists, well known speakers, concerts, acting groups, and comedians at the Arlington Convention Center!
If your teen has recent accomplishments, awards, or honors that have been recently bestowed upon them, please let me know so we can begin featuring our teens and their accomplishments in a special segment of the Youth Group News!
Tonight’s Youth Group Small Groups will be from 5:30 – 8:00 pm. Junior High will be at the Bittle’s, Senior High will be at the Farmer’s. Guys bring a treat that is salty; Ladies bring a treat that is sweet!
The Youth Group Christmas Party will be Dec. 19th from 6:00 – 10:00 pm at the Collier’s home. Mike and LuAnn Farmer have volunteered to provide the main dish, but we still need all of the parents to provide additional food items and desserts. There is a sign up sheet for food items on the Youth Info Board across from the water fountain. Each teen needs to bring a $5 or less “White Elephant” gift for the gift exchange.
Teens are encouraged to help with the Christmas Musical, The Most Inconvenient Christmas. If you are able to help with set design and building, or would like to have a bit part in the musical, contact Greg or Cheryl Stites immediately.
Check in weekly with the BLOG, setup especially for parents of 6th-12th students at Arlington Heights: www.ahyouthparents.blogpsot.com
The youth calendar that goes through the end of the year is still available in the Kiosk located in the foyer. Please pick one up if you haven’t already!
“According to his critics, Jesus ‘did God’ all wrong. He went to the wrong places, said the wrong things, and worst of all, let just anyone into the kingdom. Jesus scandalized an intimidating, elitist, country-club religion by opening membership in the spiritual life to those who had been denied it. What made people furious was Jesus’ ‘irresponsible’ habit of throwing open the doors of his love to the whosoevers, the just-any-ones, and the not-a-chancers like you and me.”
“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.”
If your teen has recent accomplishments, awards, or honors that have been recently bestowed upon them, please let me know so we can begin featuring our teens and their accomplishments in a special segment of the Youth Group News!
Tonight’s Youth Group Small Groups will be from 5:30 – 8:00 pm. Junior High will be at the Bittle’s, Senior High will be at the Farmer’s. Guys bring a treat that is salty; Ladies bring a treat that is sweet!
The Youth Group Christmas Party will be Dec. 19th from 6:00 – 10:00 pm at the Collier’s home. Mike and LuAnn Farmer have volunteered to provide the main dish, but we still need all of the parents to provide additional food items and desserts. There is a sign up sheet for food items on the Youth Info Board across from the water fountain. Each teen needs to bring a $5 or less “White Elephant” gift for the gift exchange.
Teens are encouraged to help with the Christmas Musical, The Most Inconvenient Christmas. If you are able to help with set design and building, or would like to have a bit part in the musical, contact Greg or Cheryl Stites immediately.
Check in weekly with the BLOG, setup especially for parents of 6th-12th students at Arlington Heights: www.ahyouthparents.blogpsot.com
The youth calendar that goes through the end of the year is still available in the Kiosk located in the foyer. Please pick one up if you haven’t already!
“According to his critics, Jesus ‘did God’ all wrong. He went to the wrong places, said the wrong things, and worst of all, let just anyone into the kingdom. Jesus scandalized an intimidating, elitist, country-club religion by opening membership in the spiritual life to those who had been denied it. What made people furious was Jesus’ ‘irresponsible’ habit of throwing open the doors of his love to the whosoevers, the just-any-ones, and the not-a-chancers like you and me.”
- Michael Yaconelli, Messy Spirituality
“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.”
- Jesus, John 15:18-19
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Youth News for Sunday, November 23
YOUTH GROUP NEWS
The next Youth Group Small Groups will be December 14th. Junior High will be at the Bittle’s, Senior High will be at the Farmer’s. Guys bring something salty, Ladies bring something sweet!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Youth Specialties Parent Newsletter #40
PARENT NEWSLETTER #40
October 29, 2008Subscribe here:
http://www.youthspecialties.com/freeresources/newsletters_subscribe
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================================
FOR PARENTS
With Halloween just days away, author Mark Matlock offers answers to questions that your kids may have about ghosts, vampires and werewolves.
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
ARE GHOSTS REAL?
Ghosts are a big part of the increase of supernatural themes in movies, TV, and books. The most common worldview presented in stories about ghosts is that they are the spirits of people who died with unfinished business left on earth.
So, in The Sixth Sense, a little boy sees--and helps--dead people who need to fix something before they can leave to the great beyond. In Ghost, a popular movie from the early '90s, Patrick Swayze sticks around to love and protect Demi Moore after he dies. Nicole Kidman's The Others shows ghosts who don't realize they're the ones doing the haunting.
In the real world, evidence for ghosts is scarce. People who take them seriously talk about psychic energy and show photographs with strange lights or colors. But most of the real research suggests that living people tend to create ghosts, either out of fear, grief, or for profit.
For instance, the strangest ghost stories are rarely told by the people who believe they've experienced an encounter with a ghost--unless those people are getting paid. The tellers are almost always people who heard it secondhand.
In addition, people who claim to hear voices or see dead relatives almost always stop experiencing those things when they take antipsychotic medications. That suggests either that ghosts don't like medication or that people who are having intense emotional and psychological problems are more likely to see things that aren't there.
The Bible leaves little room for the existence of ghosts. It never, ever talks about the spirits of dead humans lingering here. Paul wrote that for Christians, to be away from the body is to be present with God (2 Corinthians 5:8). And the Bible describes very specific judgments for unbelievers--judgments that do not include becoming a haunting spirit on earth (2 Thessalonians 1:9).
WHAT'S UP WITH VAMPIRES AND WEREWOLVES?
Our current ideas about supernatural creatures called vampires and werewolves come primarily from entertainment sources: the original Dracula movies of the 1930s and dozens of sequels and adaptations since then; the books of Anne Rice; and the world created by the popular shows Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel.
According to the myth, a vampire is a demon who inhabits the body of a human. They need to drink blood to stay alive; they're very strong; they can live forever; but they can be killed by sunlight, a stake through the heart, or being exposed to religious symbols like crosses or holy water. Oh, and they can turn other people into vampires if they want.
Werewolves are mythical creatures that appear human during the day, yet turn into ferocious and dangerous wolves when the moon is full. A person bitten by a werewolf will become one, and then he or she can only be killed while a wolf by a silver bullet. (They hate garlic, too.)
It's possible that these monsters of movies, TV, and books got their start in the real world. According to a great book by James Watkins called "Death and Beyond" (Tyndale, 1993), researchers at the University of British Columbia have studied a rare disease called porphyria. Victims of this illness can't produce heme, the red pigment in the blood's hemoglobin.
They believe some early sufferers tried to alleviate their symptoms by drinking blood. In addition, without that substance in their blood, these people are painfully sensitive to light. Sunlight causes sores that deform their hands; the skin of the face gets thin and tight, causing the teeth to stick out. And the body tries to protect itself with increased (wolf-like?) hair growth.
Finally, people with this disease are also violently allergic to garlic. It's possible that the legends grew out of a real-world illness.
The Bible, of course, teaches that demons are very real and that they can, in fact, possess unbelievers, making them violent and giving them supernatural strength. However, the Bible doesn't ever talk about these people living unnaturally long lives.
**
Mark Matlock has been working with youth pastors and students for nearly twenty years. Mark is the president of WisdomWorks Ministries and speaks at their PlanetWisdom student events across the country each year. He's the author of several books, including "What Does God Want From Me?," "Living a Life That Matters," "Don't Buy the Lie," and "Freshman." Mark lives in Texas with his wife, Jade, and their children, Dax and Skye.
Learn more about and purchase "Don't Buy the Lie" here:
http://www.youthspecialties.com/shop/product_info.php?products_id=163
*Save 30% off the retail price of "Don't Buy the Lie" when you use Coupon Code YPNOT5 and order by 11/12/08.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Youth Specialties Parent Newsletter #39
October 22, 2008
3. LEARN THEIR LINGO
Subscribe here:
http://www.youthspecialties.com/freeresources/newsletters_subscribe
CONTENTS
- Tools for Parenting Teens
- Links to Learn From
- Learn Their Lingo
- A Little Encouragement...And Humor
1. TOOLS FOR PARENTING TEENS
This week's article is a continuation of the Growing Up, Preteen series by Mark Oestreicher. Mark asks an important question for parents to consider...
GROWING UP, PRETEEN: CONTENT OR PROCESS?
What's more important to learn during pre-teen and young teen years: content or process?
This is a very important question for parents to consider, especially with the current trend toward a college--prep emphasis in school culture. School curriculum often teaches toward test scores. Even Christian schools, who are rarely involved in state testing, often focus on cramming content with an eye to college acceptance.
Many churches take a similar approach: load pre-teens and young teens with info during this formative age, in hopes that it will "stick" and become a guiding force in their lives.
Unfortunately, this is quite misguided.
Just prior to puberty (around 10 or 11 years-old), your child's brain does a wonderful thing: it grows an abundance of new connections. Like a massive infiltration of tree roots grasping for earth, these new connections between various parts of the brain open up a world of possibilities.
However, these new connections are only that: possibilities. There is no good way to use them all. So, those connections that get exercised and used end up forming a dominant part of the brain's function through the rest of life. And those connections that are used less, well, they'll always be used less.
What does this tell us? It's essential that the pre-teen and young teen years be about learning how to think. Process, "what if", and "why?" are critical. Discovery is the best learning mode (for spiritual learning or academic learning). If young teens exercise this part of their developing brains, it will positively impact their lifelong thinking, their spiritual growth (after all, spiritual stuff is abstract), their emotional health, their relational maturity, and their desire to continue growing and learning.
So, make room for "why?" and "what if?" Those are questions of speculation (a brand-new, but wimpy, ability for young teens). Encourage discovery. Don't be threatened by questioned values and boundary-pushing. This is the best stuff of early-adolescent brain development!
OUTSIDE-THE-BOX BOOK RECOMMENDATION
"Not Much Just Chillin': The Hidden Lives of Middle Schoolers", by Linda Perlstein (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, New York)
I've just finished reading the most significant book about young teens written in a decade (in my opinion) – and I read them all. Linda Perlstein is an education editor for the Washington Post. But she took a year off her day-job, and weaved her way into the lives and homes and classrooms of the average public middle school kids Wilde Lake Middle School in Columbia, Maryland (a suburb of Washington, DC).
Perlstein writes as a journalist (not a researcher, nor a storyteller). But she warmly riddles the book with research and stories. Reading this book will give parents a wonderful extended glimpse into all the issues we only touch on in this column. Every parent of a current or future middle school student needs to read this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Not-Much-Just-Chillin-Schoolers/dp/0345475763/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1224634943&sr=8-1
**
Mark Oestreicher is the president of Youth Specialties (www.YouthSpecialties.com), the leading provider of resources and training for Christian youth workers. Marko speaks to parents, teens and youth workers around the world, and writes books (mostly for youth ministry and young teens). He lives in San Diego with his wife, Jeannie, and his two kids, Liesl and Max.
**
2. LINKS TO LEARN FROM
The National Parenting Center has many short articles written by child-rearing experts.
http://www.tnpc.com/article/showcat.asp?n=7
Discovery Health: Teen Center – several articles dealing with teenage issues.
http://health.discovery.com/centers/teen/takingrisks/risks.html
3. LEARN THEIR LINGO
...Some slang and texting lingo for you to speak (or at least understand)
- M&M = Alright, a little above mediocre. "Do you like that youth pastor?" "Yea, he's M&M."
- Shero = A female hero. "Superwoman is such a shero."
4. A LITTLE ENCOURAGEMENT...AND HUMOR
"In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television."
~ Erma Bombeck
Monday, October 20, 2008
Youth Specialties Parent Newsletter #38
October 15, 2008
3. LEARN THEIR LINGO
Subscribe here:
http://www.youthspecialties.com/freeresources/newsletters_subscribe
CONTENTS
- Tools for Parenting Teens
- Links to Learn From
- Learn Their Lingo
- A Little Encouragement...And Humor
1. TOOLS FOR PARENTING TEENS
GROWING UP, PRETEEN
Welcome to the world of paradox!
If you have a preteen or a young teen living in your home, you gain a whole new appreciation for the concept of paradox. These wonderful kids completely embody every meaning of the word. In so many areas, they seem to be both one thing, as well as the polar opposite! (This can be quite maddening, and paradoxically, quite exciting!) It's all about transition, baby.
Here's a list of a few you might notice:
Young teens can be incredibly trusting, but will only listen to someone who's honest and transparent. Young teens (and especially preteens) don't have the jaded skepticism of their older teen brothers and sisters. They are very willing to trust – a wonderful characteristic that shouldn't be missed. This time of life is, in many ways, a last-stop refueling station into the long desert drive of adolescence. Take this opportunity to build on that trust, to show that your word is good.
At the same time, they are beginning to develop a more adult sense of the baloney-detection. If you want to be an example to your young teen, if you want to continue in a role of impacting their lives, it's essential that you do so through a commitment to honesty and vulnerability. This can be pretty tough, even threatening. When you're wrong, it's crucial that you admit it. If they sniff out insincerity or hypocrisy in your or your words, you'll quickly lose your place of leadership in their lives.
They'll catch less than you'd think, yet they're savvier than you'd expect. This is a tricky one, but so true! Because the life of a young teen is all about change (physical, intellectual, spiritual, emotional, psychological), they have a huge tendency to "in-one-ear-out-the-other" behavior. You've certainly experienced this! You explained to your daughter why a certain behavior is a bad choice, and two weeks later, she seems to have no memory of that discussion. Often that's because she really doesn't have a memory of that discussion!
But at the same time, young teens are developing a very savvy ability to see through charades, to understand when they're being marketed to, and to be aware of consequences. Often what happens with kids this age is that they are savvy enough to understand a situation, but not enough to apply it to their lives.
They want to be treated like adults, but have the opportunity to act like children. This has enormous implications. They're caught in an in-between world. They know where they want to go: they know they want to be treated like adults, to have more freedoms, to make more decisions on their own, to not be treated as if they were 4th graders. It's important to talk to young teens with an adult voice, and to begin the move to a come-alongside perspective.
But at the same time, they are still very much children, and need the opportunity to act that out, without pressure to grow up too soon. A girl may move out of her childhood music choices, but still love to play with Barbie dolls. Allow her to live in that place. A boy may desire to sit at the adult table at family gatherings, but still keep a childhood stuffed animal on his bed. Don't rush them into adulthood, but don't treat them like little kids anymore either.
Some are really young adults, while some are really children, and most are both. The reality is this: it's not that the young teen living in your home is either a child or a young adult (with some magic line being crossed at some point); it's that she's both, at the same time. Young teens aren't just in-between, they're in an overlap zone – childhood remains, while they've already stepped into the young adult world.
Living with paradox isn't easy! But it's not only the reality of the young teen years, it's somehow part of God's wonderful design for this transition to healthy independence and adulthood. Have fun!
**
Mark Oestreicher is the president of Youth Specialties (www.YouthSpecialties.com), the leading provider of resources and training for Christian youth workers. Marko speaks to parents, teens and youth workers around the world, and writes books (mostly for youth ministry and young teens). He lives in San Diego with his wife, Jeannie, and his two kids, Liesl and Max.
**
2. LINKS TO LEARN FROM
Ford's MyKey aims to help parents watch new drivers
http://www.freep.com/article/20081007/BUSINESS01/810070331/1002/BUSINESS
Cyberbullying Will Stop When Adults Level With Their Kids
http://mashable.com/2008/10/04/cyberbullying-adults-kids/
3. LEARN THEIR LINGO
...Some slang and texting lingo for you to speak (or at least understand)
- AITR - Adult in the Room
4. A LITTLE ENCOURAGEMENT...AND HUMOR
"We are the people our parents warned us about."
~ Jimmy Buffett
Friday, October 17, 2008
Junior High Parents - Discuss!
Alright Parents...here you go... Here is a copy of the notes that I sent you in email already. Read and add your comments into the discussion thread!
Here are the basic notes from our Senior High Parent’s Meeting on Sunday, September 28th. I encourage you to read through it and reply back to the entire group with additional ideas or discussion. If you have something to suggest or discuss that you would rather not have the whole group privy to, please feel free to send it just to my email.
We started off the meeting with the question, “What do you want the Jr. High Ministry to look like?” There were many fruitful responses to this question:
- Get the Jr. High students more active in the youth ministry so that they are sold on Jesus and the youth group community by the time they hit Senior High.
- We discussed numerous ways to accomplish this including: activities that are more centered on things that Junior High students are attracted to, more activities that are just for Junior High students, more overall focus in the direction of the Youth Ministry toward building up this group.
- Create more of a bond amongst the Junior High students.
- This will be accomplished thru the means mentioned above.
- There is a general feeling that it is okay to do some things that are combined with the High School students.
- Make a split to Junior High Small Groups on Sunday nights.
- Begin integrating the students into helping with the leading of the Small Group devotional times.
- Begin forming a model in which the Senior High students model servanthood to the Junior High students who in turn model servanthood to the younger children in the Children’s Ministry.
- This is a model in which Greg has begun researching already including having met with an “expert” in this area of youth ministry. Greg, Jerry, Allen, and Todd will begin to put some flesh on this and continue to seek parent input before implementation is made.
- Begin a ministry in which women are mentoring the Jr. High / Preteen girls.
- This is a very exciting idea in which Julia has proposed that mom’s and other young women from the Body begin mentoring our young girls thru different means. This could be thru activities, retreats, Bible studies, one-on-oneing, etc.
We also listed two categories on the chalkboard and had everyone put their individual input into each of these categories by using Sticky Notes. Please take the opportunity to respond to either of these categories thru the website! They are:
Entry Point Activities – Outreach in nature, low spiritual level.
(Responses Included)
- Bowling
- Movie Nights
- Game Nights
- Paintball
- Wii Night
- Build Your Own Sundae
- Karaoke
- Putt Putt
- Paintball
- Halo/Games Night
- Beach
- Campfire
- Fishing
- Camping
- Funtrackers
Mid Level Activities – Still outreach in nature, but leans toward modeling one or more aspects of Jesus’ life, i.e. service.
(Responses Included)
- Small Group Devotionals
- Beach Cleanup
- Mow a yard for an older person
- Tri-Area Devos
- Guest Speakers
- Visit and Encourage at Nursing Home
- Visit a Women’s Shelter
- Community Service at Church Facility
- Assisting Elderly Members
A large discussion that we had during the meeting revolved around the nature of our Sunday night times. The decision was made to use this format (with flexibility):
1st Sunday Night of the Month – A joint Senior and Junior High activity
2nd Sunday Night of the Month – Separate Junior and Senior High Small Groups
3rd Sunday Night of the Month - Separate Junior and Senior High Small Groups
4th Sunday Night of the Month – Body Life Activity (Whole Congregation)
5th Sunday Night of the Month – Joint Service Project
There is a lot of flexibility to make changes to this schedule as is needed. But for the most part, this will be our framework for Sunday Nights.
It was agreed that the Havelka’s would host the Jr. High on Oct. 12th, and the Collier’s would host the entire youth group for a Games and Movie Night on November 9th.
We decided to do a join the idea of doing a Youth Group Halloween activity with an Outreach activity and decided to call it HaloWeen. We will host a Halo tourney here at our facilities on Nov. 1st. Details will follow. (For those who do not know, Halo is a first-person shooter, video game).
It was agreed that we will have a Joint Christmas Party for the youth group.
High School Parents - Discuss!
Alright Parents...here you go... Here is a copy of the notes that I sent you in email already. Read and add your comments into the discussion thread!
Here are the basic notes from our Senior High Parent’s Meeting on Sunday, September 28th. I encourage you to read through it and reply back to the entire group with additional ideas or discussion. If you have something to suggest or discuss that you would rather not have the whole group privy to, please feel free to send it just to my email.
We started off by having 5 Categories on the marker board to give input to. We only touched on the first two before we branched off, so I will give you the opportunity through this email to respond to any of these categories that you wish! They are:
Mid Level Activities – Still outreach in nature, but leans toward modeling one or more aspects of Jesus’ life, i.e. service.
Devotional Topics – Issues that you would like to see addressed with the youth that can hold their own as a one class/devo topic.
Bible Study Topics – Issues that you would like to see the youth study that need to be fleshed out over a longer period of time.
What Would You Like To See Change?
Ideas suggested for Entry Point Activities were:
Movies – Nighttime or Matinee
Basketball Game (boys vs. girls)
Scavenger Hunt – involving parents – ending with supper/lunch at last house
Putt Putt Golf
Create some team building events for the parents
Airsoft Contest
Grill outs
Themed Parties
Movie night at someone’s house
Playing Rockband or some sort of game competition – fun
Going to a park for outdoor games and a cook-out
Beach devo – possibly with other youth groups
Campfire – hotdogs, etc.
Fun Parks
Something for guys – something for girls
Ideas suggested for Mid Level Activities
Beach Trip with Trash Collecting Service Project
Movie Night at Building with Building Beautification Service Project
Other suggestions were activities possibly held at Allen Doubrava’s or Ruth Gilleland’s lake houses. Including the possibility of having a New Years Eve Party at the Doubrava’s lake house.
I also presented the direction that we have been going on Sunday nights and asked for input to make needed changes. Our Sunday night model has looked like this:
First Sunday Night of the Month – Activity
Second Sunday Night of the Month – Service Project
Third Sunday Night of the Month – Devotional
Fourth Sunday Night of the Month – Super Group Sunday
Fifth (When we have one) – Devotional
- The responses that came back were largely centered around our Service nights:
o Get ourselves out in the community more
o Cut back on the frequency of Service nights – maybe getting to mundane. Maybe go to having them quarterly or every other month.
o Have more youth and parent participation in the planning of the service night.
o Have a more detailed plan available in advance for what we are going to do on a service night.
o We need to serve the PrimeTimers more!
We also had a large discussion around our particular group’s willingness/unwillingness to reach out to other friends or acquaintances in their schools or neighborhoods. There was no easy solution that came out of this discussion on how to spur this on immediately. However, I offered as the beginning to a solution to meet with each set of parents and their teen individually to talk about that teen’s gifts/talents and their propensity to shy away from inviting others to be a part of this Christ community. The hope being that between the four of us, we can find individual solutions to this challenge that fit within the framework of each teen.
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